This year as we waited for the ball to drop in a little beach town in West Michigan, Ben leaned over and asked me if I had any resolution s for 2017. In my typical fashion I stated that I hate things like that, but we named a few things....read more, be more joyful...things of that nature. But guys really, I HATE these things. Its another way to fail. And I hate failing.
It's another way to dissapoint....yourself or another person, and I hate disappointment.
Especially when it involves disappointing someone else.
How ironic that the resolution that we have come up with this year would be "to be intentional" I just have this really big feeling that we might be disappointing some people.
I have a feeling that in the "saying no, so we can say yes to only things that build relationships or build up God's kingdom" could be mighty disappointing.
But oh my word, am I excited about this.
For so long as an individual, I have run around trying to get away with not disappointing, never saying no, giving very ounce of energy without ever filling back up because saying no...to netflix, or game night, or even just cleaning the bathroom when it isnt even dirty because I have nothing else to do, and I can't just stop doing things, I must be moving at all times or I am truly failing at being an adult is....
JUST. TOO. DISAPPOINTING.
And I have suffered.
And those around me have suffered...because while I could have been giving my all to build relationships, I was half heartedly engaging in small talk because its all my very tired, raw heart could handle.
Having deep conversations with my mentor were few and far between because I just couldn't handle any more emotionally tiring things..or physically tiring if we are being honest.
So here's to a year of saying "YES" wholeheartedly to relationships and deep talks, and for goodness sakes...some sleep.
Saying yes to baking for fun with friends, for working out because contrary to what I've told myself forever it IS productive even if nothing is being cleaned during it.
Here's to focusing on what Jesus is teaching me is important and leaving the other stuff for another day.
Here's to living intentionally.
Monday, January 9, 2017
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Blessed beyond measure.
Guys, let me be completely honest with you...this is such a shameless brag post. About my significant other.
I know, run now.
Make gagging faces/sounds.
Roll your eyes and go to bed ASAP.
But if you're still reading, I promise that after the moment of bragging, this post is so full of Jesus and His grace, and love, and His pure all-knowingness.
After 2 1/2 hours of discussion, there was a conclusion.
Now, this wasn't a fight...the situation that the discussion was aboutdidn't actually even directly affect me. I mean, it did. But not directly. Either way, a conclusion was made. My guy's demeanor was back to being that of a normal living human being and guys...
I AM SO BLESSED.
So blessed that I'm spending time I really should be sleeping, telling you how blessed I am.
Because God knows how I literally just plow face first into situations without always thinking of repercussions. (I know, it doesn't even slightly fit my personality....God wanted to surprise people when they decided to really get to know me I suppose.)
He knew that I make decisions based on emotions every day of my life.
He knew that I am literally the most stubborn human being in the state of Michigan, and that when I don't want to do something, and not doing it won't physically hurt anyone...there is no way that I am doing that thing.
He told me to wait for Ben until he was ready to be in a relationship with me. When in reality He was having me wait until I could see what a true gift this guy would be to my life.
He gave Ben a very opposite personality.
He gave him the ability to handle these situations with much more grace and thought than I ever would.
He made Ben a listener, and He made him feel things to such a great extent that it makes every decision a large one.
And I am so blessed by it.
And yeah, the discussion was resolved in a way that I thought it should be, and that's fine and dandy ...but that's not what I am blessed by right now.
I am blessed by the kindness, and the amount of thought and time given to making decisions that this man puts into making them.
I am blessed by the fact that God thought so highly of me as His daughter to take such great care in shaping the exact human that He knew so well that I needed to make me less of a psycho-face.
So, I guess... that tonight, I am blessed by hard decision making, and living life with my love...and God's undeserved grace that He has wrapped it in.
Monday, September 5, 2016
On Southerners, hospitality, and Jesus.
I grew up in the South, and I would be lying if I said that I had lost all of that Southern pride that we generally have in the last 6 years that I've been away. So take what I'm about to say with a grain of salt, and some prayer...and maybe some sweet tea before you decide that I'm a traitor. (What are we in a war or something? Good grief.)
Southern Hospitality. It's a thing that the majority of us have heard of, yes? People from other parts of our country let their imaginations run wild with this one, they have pictures in their mind of sweet southern belles on long front porches with rocking chairs on them serving sweet tea with a wedge of lemon. We make the best food, we throw the best parties, us southern girls are always dolled up to perfection.
Spoiler, that isn't a thing by the way.
Guys I've met some southern girls who don't know the first thing about true hospitality. (Though they do make some KILLER sweet tea)
And guys, I've met some northern girls who are KILLER at true hospitality and guess what...they also make some darn good sweet tea.
And I'm just convinced that hospitality has absolutely nothing to do with the South. Or the North. Or the East or West or the darn middle of the country.
I am convinced that the art of true hospitality comes from hearts that love Jesus.
I am convinced that you learn by example, and what better place to learn this way of loving people than from Jesus? The Man fed 5,000 people by himself for goodness sake! I don't know about you, but I personally max out at about 20 people without a good crew helping me, and at about 350 with that crew, so you let me know if you can feed 5,000 alone, and we'll chat about that new catering business we are going to open up together.
I also don't know any good host that is willing to DIE for her guests. I love y'all but uh, I'll be the first one diving underneath that beautifully set table if something were to happen that might get us killed.
And I'm not saying southerners aren't hospitable because....hi. I love parties, let's have a big one soon. I'm just saying that I'm done attributing this really fun and great way of loving on people to a few states in this universe and I'm ready to start attributing this whole thing to Christ because I just can't see a way that we can truly practice it without him.
So, let's study up on this whole loving on people through hospitality thing, Jesus style....and then let's really practice it.
....even if you have to serve pizza and Coke to be able to really have the time to LOVE on these humans you are blessed to serve.
Just do it.
Just learn about it from the best Host, and then do it...and if you need some help with your sweet tea, let me know.
Southern Hospitality. It's a thing that the majority of us have heard of, yes? People from other parts of our country let their imaginations run wild with this one, they have pictures in their mind of sweet southern belles on long front porches with rocking chairs on them serving sweet tea with a wedge of lemon. We make the best food, we throw the best parties, us southern girls are always dolled up to perfection.
Spoiler, that isn't a thing by the way.
Guys I've met some southern girls who don't know the first thing about true hospitality. (Though they do make some KILLER sweet tea)
And guys, I've met some northern girls who are KILLER at true hospitality and guess what...they also make some darn good sweet tea.
And I'm just convinced that hospitality has absolutely nothing to do with the South. Or the North. Or the East or West or the darn middle of the country.
I am convinced that the art of true hospitality comes from hearts that love Jesus.
I am convinced that you learn by example, and what better place to learn this way of loving people than from Jesus? The Man fed 5,000 people by himself for goodness sake! I don't know about you, but I personally max out at about 20 people without a good crew helping me, and at about 350 with that crew, so you let me know if you can feed 5,000 alone, and we'll chat about that new catering business we are going to open up together.
I also don't know any good host that is willing to DIE for her guests. I love y'all but uh, I'll be the first one diving underneath that beautifully set table if something were to happen that might get us killed.
And I'm not saying southerners aren't hospitable because....hi. I love parties, let's have a big one soon. I'm just saying that I'm done attributing this really fun and great way of loving on people to a few states in this universe and I'm ready to start attributing this whole thing to Christ because I just can't see a way that we can truly practice it without him.
So, let's study up on this whole loving on people through hospitality thing, Jesus style....and then let's really practice it.
....even if you have to serve pizza and Coke to be able to really have the time to LOVE on these humans you are blessed to serve.
Just do it.
Just learn about it from the best Host, and then do it...and if you need some help with your sweet tea, let me know.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
He restores...
I remember being about 8 years old, in AWANA, our churches Bible club for kids and being chosen to stand in front of our entire church for our closing program and recite Psalm 23:3. This was no small thing either because we were well known in our Baptist mega church.
I was after all the evangelist's grand-daughter. I worked so hard to memorize it, and practiced in the mirror at home so I would say it just right (all of you who know me well can let out an "ahhh, that makes sense" now that you know how early my perfectionist self started freaking out over being 'perfect')...and when the night came I went up on stage with the others who had been chosen to say Bible verses and I said it loud and clear, and just how I practiced it...and then I never really thought about the verse again.
I always 'knew' it...I can recite it to you to this day..but I never THOUGHT about it again.
Until this week.
This really tough, depressing, sad, I laid in my bed for the entire day crying....week.
Y'all He restores our souls.
Fixes them.
Comforts them.
Renews them.
The deepest, darkest, saddest, most hurt part of each of us....fixed.
No longer broken.
I was taught from a very young age that it's okay not to love people.
It's okay not to associate with certain people.
It's okay to think that it's your way or the highway.
It's okay to force my beliefs down people's throats.
Let me just make a really bold statement here: NOT ONE THING THAT I JUST TYPED IS TRUE.
And guys, when I got into high school, I wasn't really sure that I wanted any of that "church stuff". Because I knew people who weren't Christians that were a lot kinder than the people that were Christians and I'd much rather spend time with the kind people, thank you very much.
10th grade - My family moved to Michigan. WHAT ON EARTH. These people talk weird, they drink thick apple juice that's warmed up, and they wear tank tops when it's 70F outside.
I left everything I knew... including my grandparents, my best friend, and my boyfriend. And I was not at all impressed by it.
My second week of living in what felt like a different country, God sent a rather tall man to our front door with the best tasting pumpkin bread I've ever eaten...and he invited us to the church that he is the pastor of. (Oh, did I forget to mention that the house we lived in was across the yard from a little Baptist church?) God has a serious sense of humor.
My mom didn't really want to try it out, but for some reason unknown to me, we tried it out. My parents would go sometimes after that first week, but man I went every time the doors were open. And to this day, I can not give a tangible reason why other than the Holy Spirit made me walk across that yard and into the building.
I still had so much going on that was not okay, I still believed so many lies. I still really didn't see them as lies at all.
But I loved this church, the people in it, and hey..I met a cute boy there... so I became a member of it as soon as I turned 16.
Like the good Baptist girl that I was raised to be, I said the right things...did the right things when people were watching...and continued to live my life however I wanted to the rest of the time.
I made some terrible decisions in the next few years following that... but I wasn't totally believing the lies anymore. I could see the manipulation, and the hate, and I had to get away from it so that my life would change with my view on the things that I had been taught my entire life.
I moved to Colorado for YWAM, and I came back completely on fire for God.
I came back to my little Baptist church, to the disapproval of people that were very dear to me...and guys if there is one very known personality trait of mine it is PEOPLE PLEASER...and I somehow was able to step back and follow what I knew was right.
I stayed in the church, and that person moved back home to Arkansas, and I have been so blessed by my obedience. I
am currently able to avoid being right in the middle of some terrible things being caused by none other than the spirit of hate...weird, how that pattern continues if you let it.
In obedience, I gained about 8 brothers and sisters...and their parents who either act like my parents or my best friend, depending on the day and what I need in my life right then.
And hey, that pastor that came to my door 6 years ago?
He's that cute boy's dad.
And that cute boy? I love him so very dearly, and have the pleasure of having him love me back.
And guys, He restored it.
He restored my relationship with the church, because it was never meant to be broken....He gave me a family that may not be blood, but is the exact family that He wanted me to be in, in this stage of my life.
Restoration happens, I promise.
You just have to let go of what needs to be restored and allow Him to work in your heart first.
I was after all the evangelist's grand-daughter. I worked so hard to memorize it, and practiced in the mirror at home so I would say it just right (all of you who know me well can let out an "ahhh, that makes sense" now that you know how early my perfectionist self started freaking out over being 'perfect')...and when the night came I went up on stage with the others who had been chosen to say Bible verses and I said it loud and clear, and just how I practiced it...and then I never really thought about the verse again.
I always 'knew' it...I can recite it to you to this day..but I never THOUGHT about it again.
Until this week.
This really tough, depressing, sad, I laid in my bed for the entire day crying....week.
Y'all He restores our souls.
Fixes them.
Comforts them.
Renews them.
The deepest, darkest, saddest, most hurt part of each of us....fixed.
No longer broken.
I was taught from a very young age that it's okay not to love people.
It's okay not to associate with certain people.
It's okay to think that it's your way or the highway.
It's okay to force my beliefs down people's throats.
Let me just make a really bold statement here: NOT ONE THING THAT I JUST TYPED IS TRUE.
And guys, when I got into high school, I wasn't really sure that I wanted any of that "church stuff". Because I knew people who weren't Christians that were a lot kinder than the people that were Christians and I'd much rather spend time with the kind people, thank you very much.
10th grade - My family moved to Michigan. WHAT ON EARTH. These people talk weird, they drink thick apple juice that's warmed up, and they wear tank tops when it's 70F outside.
I left everything I knew... including my grandparents, my best friend, and my boyfriend. And I was not at all impressed by it.
My second week of living in what felt like a different country, God sent a rather tall man to our front door with the best tasting pumpkin bread I've ever eaten...and he invited us to the church that he is the pastor of. (Oh, did I forget to mention that the house we lived in was across the yard from a little Baptist church?) God has a serious sense of humor.
My mom didn't really want to try it out, but for some reason unknown to me, we tried it out. My parents would go sometimes after that first week, but man I went every time the doors were open. And to this day, I can not give a tangible reason why other than the Holy Spirit made me walk across that yard and into the building.
I still had so much going on that was not okay, I still believed so many lies. I still really didn't see them as lies at all.
But I loved this church, the people in it, and hey..I met a cute boy there... so I became a member of it as soon as I turned 16.
Like the good Baptist girl that I was raised to be, I said the right things...did the right things when people were watching...and continued to live my life however I wanted to the rest of the time.
I made some terrible decisions in the next few years following that... but I wasn't totally believing the lies anymore. I could see the manipulation, and the hate, and I had to get away from it so that my life would change with my view on the things that I had been taught my entire life.
I moved to Colorado for YWAM, and I came back completely on fire for God.
I came back to my little Baptist church, to the disapproval of people that were very dear to me...and guys if there is one very known personality trait of mine it is PEOPLE PLEASER...and I somehow was able to step back and follow what I knew was right.
I stayed in the church, and that person moved back home to Arkansas, and I have been so blessed by my obedience. I
am currently able to avoid being right in the middle of some terrible things being caused by none other than the spirit of hate...weird, how that pattern continues if you let it.
In obedience, I gained about 8 brothers and sisters...and their parents who either act like my parents or my best friend, depending on the day and what I need in my life right then.
And hey, that pastor that came to my door 6 years ago?
He's that cute boy's dad.
And that cute boy? I love him so very dearly, and have the pleasure of having him love me back.
And guys, He restored it.
He restored my relationship with the church, because it was never meant to be broken....He gave me a family that may not be blood, but is the exact family that He wanted me to be in, in this stage of my life.
Restoration happens, I promise.
You just have to let go of what needs to be restored and allow Him to work in your heart first.
Monday, June 20, 2016
TRUTH in LOVE
A theme in my life is speaking TRUTH in LOVE with GRACE. Oh, boy. I am not a graceful person at all, and I'm working on it I promise..even though it really doesn't seem like I am sometimes. And I am not a confrontational person, so that truth part is pretty hard for me too. So basically, I have love down. Somewhat. Kind of. Depends on who I'm loving...lets just say I'm working on that one too. But guys, today my heart is broken. It's been broken for a week now, I just didn't realize how broken or what words to use to express that brokenness until this morning... I walked into my office to find out that an American woman truck driver was waiting in her truck for me to tell her what dock to back the trailer in to. An American woman, who is a Muslim. Immediately my guard went up because "how dare you CHOOSE this, with what has been going on in our country for the past 15 years?" And then this woman got out of her truck and stood at my desk, and y'all, it was so hard to not burst into tears. I had to turn away and shuffle some paperwork for a minute so I didn't look like a psycho.
I don't know what on earth it was about her, but oh man was I convicted. To love her. To speak truth to her. To be graceful. So I prayed over her (silently, I'm still working on this whole confrontation thing, remember) as I got her paperwork ready, as she signed it, as she walked out of my office probably for me to never see again. And I just can't get her out of my head.
I just can't say this enough:
TRUTH LOVE GRACE.
I realize that in the world we live in, it is way easier said than done. I realize it could be dangerous, or just plain out of our comfort zone. I promise, that 5'2 introverted Ashley realizes that all too well. He never said it would be easy. He never said it would be safe, or fun or that people would be our friend because of it. He just said GO. He said to speak the TRUTH, He said to do it in LOVE, and He said to use GRACE while doing so.
I challenge you to prayer. Nothing else today, but prayer. Pray for people. Not just people who practice Islam. But also people who practice Christianity, and Hindus, and Athiests, people who believe they are gay, people who are straight..and every single person on this planet. Because every single one of us needs Jesus. We all have sin, whether everyone knows about it or no one but you and God. And then maybe in that prayer Jesus will challenge you to a bit more, and unless you want to have an ah ha moment at your desk, I suggest learning quickly what He's trying to tell you, and start going for it pretty quickly. ;)
I don't know what on earth it was about her, but oh man was I convicted. To love her. To speak truth to her. To be graceful. So I prayed over her (silently, I'm still working on this whole confrontation thing, remember) as I got her paperwork ready, as she signed it, as she walked out of my office probably for me to never see again. And I just can't get her out of my head.
I just can't say this enough:
TRUTH LOVE GRACE.
I realize that in the world we live in, it is way easier said than done. I realize it could be dangerous, or just plain out of our comfort zone. I promise, that 5'2 introverted Ashley realizes that all too well. He never said it would be easy. He never said it would be safe, or fun or that people would be our friend because of it. He just said GO. He said to speak the TRUTH, He said to do it in LOVE, and He said to use GRACE while doing so.
I challenge you to prayer. Nothing else today, but prayer. Pray for people. Not just people who practice Islam. But also people who practice Christianity, and Hindus, and Athiests, people who believe they are gay, people who are straight..and every single person on this planet. Because every single one of us needs Jesus. We all have sin, whether everyone knows about it or no one but you and God. And then maybe in that prayer Jesus will challenge you to a bit more, and unless you want to have an ah ha moment at your desk, I suggest learning quickly what He's trying to tell you, and start going for it pretty quickly. ;)
Monday, April 18, 2016
Being Enough
Commercials are the worst, yes? I think we can all agree...guy, girl, old, young...we all hate them. They're long, annoying, always trying to sell us something, and always much louder than the programming that we are impatiently waiting for to come back on as we shove our raspberry truffle gelato into our faces.
They hold promises of youthfulness, and skinniness, and looking like Jennifer Aniston-ness...Enough-ness.
I call lies. Lies from pit, I tell you.
My Facebook feed for the past week or so has been full of women writing about how they don't feel like they are enough.
Y'all, I struggle with this.
I really do.
Let's get down to the honest to goodness truth and talk about the daily walks of our lives for a minute;
Society (or let's be real here, Satan puts this in my mind each and every day) tells me that if I don't wake up an hour before I need to, make my bed and do an hour of Bible study (don't you dare leave out the journaling), eat a well balanced meal, be dressed to the nines (how dare you leave out the eyeliner on a MONDAY), and be out the door all in that hour and a half time span...my day is a failure. Let's not forget that the house needs to be spotless, a 3 course dinner made, and some DIY projects done by the end of the day.
Guys, if I can just get up ON TIME, down a cup of coffee while struggling to find a pair of pants and a shirt that actually goes together, put on a pair of flip flops that match, and remember my water bottle for the day, IT IS A GOOD MORNING. If I get a few minutes during my day to send my Love a text telling him that he is appreciated, or a few seconds of blissful silence to talk to Jesus while the pot of veggies quietly (or not so quietly) boils over on the stove, and I actually eat dinner at all, IT HAS BEEN A GOOD DAY.
Disclaimer: Bible reading happens, just so late at night/past the time I should be sleeping (oh wait, sleep?) that let's not even talk about it.
You're enough. I promise, There is no one on this planet Earth who can do everything she needs to in a day. If there is such a person, please oh please let me find her. And clone her...or at least follow her around for a few weeks so I can learn how she manages this.
The dishes aren't going anywhere ladies, they'll wait for you to do them...
Another disclaimer: There is a difference in making priorities and letting things get so bad that practicing hospitality is a struggle.
The laundry will also wait... (wear that maxi skirt for the 3rd day in a row, crotchless yoga pants,,,am I right?!)
If you're a night owl, or just struggle sleeping, do your Bible study then instead of the terrible hours before 7am. I promise that the people waking up early to do it aren't learning anything different/better/more godly just because it's early in the morning.
Don't pull your self worth from commercials, or society, or from the lies that Satan would love, love, LOVE for you to believe.
Are you doing what you are doing for Jesus? Is it good, is it helpful, is it loving, does it make people feel appreciated? You're doing something right, keep it up.
They hold promises of youthfulness, and skinniness, and looking like Jennifer Aniston-ness...Enough-ness.
I call lies. Lies from pit, I tell you.
My Facebook feed for the past week or so has been full of women writing about how they don't feel like they are enough.
Y'all, I struggle with this.
I really do.
Let's get down to the honest to goodness truth and talk about the daily walks of our lives for a minute;
Society (or let's be real here, Satan puts this in my mind each and every day) tells me that if I don't wake up an hour before I need to, make my bed and do an hour of Bible study (don't you dare leave out the journaling), eat a well balanced meal, be dressed to the nines (how dare you leave out the eyeliner on a MONDAY), and be out the door all in that hour and a half time span...my day is a failure. Let's not forget that the house needs to be spotless, a 3 course dinner made, and some DIY projects done by the end of the day.
Guys, if I can just get up ON TIME, down a cup of coffee while struggling to find a pair of pants and a shirt that actually goes together, put on a pair of flip flops that match, and remember my water bottle for the day, IT IS A GOOD MORNING. If I get a few minutes during my day to send my Love a text telling him that he is appreciated, or a few seconds of blissful silence to talk to Jesus while the pot of veggies quietly (or not so quietly) boils over on the stove, and I actually eat dinner at all, IT HAS BEEN A GOOD DAY.
Disclaimer: Bible reading happens, just so late at night/past the time I should be sleeping (oh wait, sleep?) that let's not even talk about it.
You're enough. I promise, There is no one on this planet Earth who can do everything she needs to in a day. If there is such a person, please oh please let me find her. And clone her...or at least follow her around for a few weeks so I can learn how she manages this.
The dishes aren't going anywhere ladies, they'll wait for you to do them...
Another disclaimer: There is a difference in making priorities and letting things get so bad that practicing hospitality is a struggle.
The laundry will also wait... (wear that maxi skirt for the 3rd day in a row, crotchless yoga pants,,,am I right?!)
If you're a night owl, or just struggle sleeping, do your Bible study then instead of the terrible hours before 7am. I promise that the people waking up early to do it aren't learning anything different/better/more godly just because it's early in the morning.
Don't pull your self worth from commercials, or society, or from the lies that Satan would love, love, LOVE for you to believe.
Are you doing what you are doing for Jesus? Is it good, is it helpful, is it loving, does it make people feel appreciated? You're doing something right, keep it up.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Blessings and curses
At 20 years old a girl lays in bed thinking....it seems as if it is the only thing she ever does. THINK about what needs to be done tomorrow.
THINK about the bills that need to be payed.
THINK...and dream...about her future.
None of these things are on her mind tonight.
Tonight she thinks about the words said to her...or not said to her: in the past and in the present.
A distant memory of a parent telling her that she isn't going to find a man that will want a girlfriend or a wife that isn't thin.
A not so distant memory of a parent saying that she should really lose some weight before any pictures are taken, because those memories are forever.
An even closer memory of someone dear to her heart shattering those hurtful words with words of encouragement. "I love you, exactly the way you are. Got it?"
No recollection of anyone who was supposed to say it many years ago, saying the word "proud" at any point in time when talking to her. And when someone says that word twice in one week, she actually has no idea how to respond..because what are you supposed to do when someone is proud of you? "BE CAREFUL NOT TO MESS IT UP." is what quickly runs through her head.
I have a dear friend who often talks about the fact that we speak blessings and curses...about many things; our children, our friends, our homes, our futures...and the list goes on.
Sometimes the most damage can happen when people think that they are being helpful.
Sometimes, you actually don't mean it "that" way at all.
Speak blessings.
Challenge people to grow closer to Jesus.
Have coffee with loved ones, and make them laugh until their sides hurt...
But don't ever make them feel like they somehow need to live up to your expectations of them, when the only real goal in life should be to live a life full of serving God and serving others.
THINK about the bills that need to be payed.
THINK...and dream...about her future.
None of these things are on her mind tonight.
Tonight she thinks about the words said to her...or not said to her: in the past and in the present.
A distant memory of a parent telling her that she isn't going to find a man that will want a girlfriend or a wife that isn't thin.
A not so distant memory of a parent saying that she should really lose some weight before any pictures are taken, because those memories are forever.
An even closer memory of someone dear to her heart shattering those hurtful words with words of encouragement. "I love you, exactly the way you are. Got it?"
No recollection of anyone who was supposed to say it many years ago, saying the word "proud" at any point in time when talking to her. And when someone says that word twice in one week, she actually has no idea how to respond..because what are you supposed to do when someone is proud of you? "BE CAREFUL NOT TO MESS IT UP." is what quickly runs through her head.
I have a dear friend who often talks about the fact that we speak blessings and curses...about many things; our children, our friends, our homes, our futures...and the list goes on.
Sometimes the most damage can happen when people think that they are being helpful.
Sometimes, you actually don't mean it "that" way at all.
Speak blessings.
Challenge people to grow closer to Jesus.
Have coffee with loved ones, and make them laugh until their sides hurt...
But don't ever make them feel like they somehow need to live up to your expectations of them, when the only real goal in life should be to live a life full of serving God and serving others.
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