When He reminds us of the wonderful things

There are times I just need to be reminded of the good. Of the joyful. Of the wonderful.
I get so brought down by circumstances, or lets be honest... even the gloomy weather.

And I ask Him to remind me of the lovely things in life.

As I cry out that I am "done". With this day. With this week. With this crazy wonderful life that doesn't seem so crazy wonderful at the moment.... He is so quick to remind me of the blessings in this life. So many people that love me. So many beautiful sunsets. So many lives touched, and still to be touched.

And I will continue to be beautifully overwhelmed with everything the Lord has so graciously put me in charge of, of everything He has and will still put on my heart. I will continue to cry out. 

And he will continue to remind me....

I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open...

A song is on repeat in my home right now...

A song that talks about not holding on to anything, about my life being in the hands of the One who made me, about climbing life's mountains with open hands.

I so struggle with wanting to start my life's calling as soon as possible.

This has always been an issue for me, even as a girl. We're going somewhere? I want to go now. We're having cookies? I want to eat them now.

And now, as an adult... I know what the Lord has called me to in life, and I want to start it....now.

Up until now, I haven't felt released by the Lord to fully start this season of my life...He has allowed tastes of it, which has left me even more excited.... And now through so much prayer, I feel as if I am being released to fully start the journey! ...but now I am overwhelmed beyond belief.

Where to start? How to start? Do I even know what I am starting? Hardly. I know that a deep hunger for the Word and communion with Him has been planted in me. I know that the Lord has put in me a love to serve others for a very large reason.

There are so many ideas, so much "planning with God" happening. It's so fabulously exciting!...and yet, so scary and so unknown.

Prayer. Prayer is the key to starting this season of my life. Prayer from myself and others! I'm asking to be entered into your daily prayer life! Whether it be a journal...or just done by memory... I'd love for my story to be unfolded through many souls, so that it can be shared for His glory!

I started a blog post around 7:30pm tonight and never finished it...

I'm sure you're wondering why I would bother to tell you this little bit of useless information in the title of this post... It's so important though. I started writing a blog post on how the younger generation (so...mine.) isn't doing enough in the church and how we all need to step up....you get the gist. I was having some serious writer's block. I eventually put it on hold and spent some time on pinterest and watched some baseball/Jimmy Fallon with a dear friend. Either way, I never finished the post...and eventually just headed home.

Now, another little insider to this story: I've been telling another one of my friends how I need to just lock myself in a room for a week and pray the entire time. Figure out my life, figure out what God wants from me (even though He has told me many times in the past few weeks what He wants from me, I just am not a very good listener sometimes)...and all that jazz.

So, I'm driving home.... I hate driving with a burning passion by the way. And I'm like HELLO. You have 20 minutes until you're home, why aren't you praying? I then hear the same voice I've heard all week;

 "I want all of you." 

This sentence has brought me to tears more than once....even in front of my dear small group, simply because as I told them "I thought He had all of me, what else does He want from me, I didn't think I had anything else to give."

 Tonight it brought on full sobs.

(Please just forget that I was driving...it was 1am, no one else was out, right?)
The light bulb went on. A situation I have been struggling with for probably like 2 years, that has me in a state of constant worry and wondering if anything will ever happen to fix it. And the Lord wanted to take it from me.
I think that perhaps I didn't want to give it to Him all of this time.
 I wanted to try and control the situation by myself.

So, as I drove down Pine Island Dr. at 1am I tearfully gave the whole thing to the only One that could possibly do anything about it. This meant giving myself, people, and the future to Christ once and for all. Vowing to not let them distract me without cause. Asking God to show people things in His timing and not mine. And as quickly as the tears came they were wiped away with peace and joy.

So my dear friends, what started as a rather somber post at 7:30 this evening is now ending as a glimpse into my life at 1:45 in the morning.

Tonight I rode a bus in America.

9 months ago, I NEVER would have thought riding a bus in Grand Rapids, Michigan would bring back incredibly vivid memories and feelings.

As I stood at the bus stop in front of Meijer on Alpine waiting for the number 9, that would take us right to the center of Grand Rapids I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic. Waiting for buses was like my job not too long ago, and I rather disliked it...but my heart strings were still pulled a little bit.
The bus came, and I stepped inside of it, along with the two others that I was with... I held up my wrist to show that I was wearing a wrist band that got me on for 'free' for the duration of Art Prize, and I started walking towards the back of the bus to sit down. Men were sitting everywhere, and my first instinct was to look behind me to see if any older people were following me who would obviously get any open seats and then one of the men would get up and give me theirs, right? Oh, wait... I'm in America. "Just sit down"...I told myself. I thought that this was silent, but it actually came out of my mouth, embarrassingly enough. Then my friend turns and asks where we should sit... "In the back?" He asks... The very back row was empty. Everything inside of me is wondering why he would even suggest such a thing. "Don't you know the very back row is only for men?" This time it's actually only inside of my head, thank goodness. "Let's just sit." I'm actually starting to wonder if this was the most wonderful idea we've ever had. My brain is so confused, I can't even think straight. I sit down next to a lady, probably in her mid 40s and I carefully look straight ahead. My friend Stephanie sits in front of me, and my friend Ben stands up next to me, holding on. My brain is so thankful for at least that normalcy. (Men usually stand and the women sit... if a guy is with you, he usually stands beside you)
Someone pulls the string letting the driver know that they want off, and the speakers that tell everyone to wait and get off when he comes to a complete stop is in English (SHOCKER) and Stephanie is casually looking around at everyone on the bus, while also turning around talking to me. Not exactly proper bus etiquette...is that even a thing?...on the buses that I'm used to!
 I actually can not even handle the bus ride at this point.
And then...we get off, and I'm suddenly positive that I'm in America again. My muscles actually ached from being held so rigidly for the 10 maybe 15 min. that I was on that bus...

So here's to severely culture shocking almost 4 months after coming home..... Honestly the weirdest experience I've probably ever had.

Real happiness.

I'm often jealous of people who have bubbly personalities... and I often find myself trying to figure out why I can't just have the same attitude with life. I mean, I have my moments where I'm all giddy with happiness (probably most often in the fall, because it's my favorite) but more often than not I'm either being just plain embarrassing or I'm being utterly too involved with what my latest thought is. I then catch myself in this and once again wonder why I can't just have a cute smile on my face and giggle at the appropriate times and be happy about everything....

And then I realize that just because these girls are bubbly and adorable doesn't mean that they are happy. And even if they are, it doesn't mean that they are getting their happiness from where they should be.

Real happiness comes only from Christ. Real happiness comes through being grateful...extending hospitality...being forgiving.

Let's go so far as to say that at this point it shouldn't be called happiness anymore, it's called JOY.

Happiness gives the impression that if you have Christ and are doing all the right things, then you will be happy all of the time, and nothing can ever make you sad or angry....which just simply isn't true.

Joy on the other hand makes me think of eyes that shine with love, a heart that can be hurting but still show so much kindness....someone who is not 'happy' but chooses to be joyful anyway.

I feel like whenever we want to be 'always happy' like those 'other people'...we should choose to be continuously joyful in every aspect of our lives.

Stop to smell...or look...or taste.

I recently came upon a quote that made me stop and think not just about how wonderful our Creator is, but also how I spend my day in His creation...

God didn't have to give us cherry blossoms,

He didn't have to make apple trees and peach trees

burst into fragrance.

But God just loves to splurge.

He gives us all of this magnificence and then, as if that isn't enough...

He provides fruit from such extravagance.

-Lynn Austin

It just makes me wonder if I "stop to smell the roses" often enough....

Do I take time in my rather hurried mornings to look at the sunrise?

Am I so focused on driving home each night that I forget to thank Him for the day?

I have to be so careful not to be so busy that I can't fully enjoy just being alive. 

I can't be so full of thoughts that I can't be still and listen.

I can't be so ready to do busy work that I'm not doing what I've been called to do.

Another semester comes to a close...

Today as I was reading all of my wonderful Azeri friends status' talking about the end of another semester there at the English center I couldn't help but be a little sad... I am so missing them and the fun times we had each day. It's hard to believe that I left over a month ago...yet it seems like it has been forever at the same time!
Some pictures that are perhaps not the best in quality and good facial expressions, but also perhaps bring the biggest smile to my face...