A smile on my face...

Satan is on the path of destruction. He is working overtime in my little part of the world, and he thinks he is winning. 

There has been such an air of discouragement, of hopelessness, and of sadness in my life and in the lives of others that I know. 

Family ties are being broken, or are close to being broken. People that are not normally confrontational are being forced to change in that aspect in order to follow the Lord. 

Through all of this my biggest comfort is in knowing that the Lord already knew everything was going to happen. He already had a plan to fix it. He had a plan to put me in the Church family that I'm in right now. 

I have wonderful people that love on me...that will sit there and talk to me forever...that give me their wisdom and experiences.

I'm blessed beyond measure at the amount of love an support coming my way right now, and the Lord knew I would need these lasting relationships.

So, here I am starting my Friday morning with a cup of coffee and some yogurt. I refuse to give Satan his way of discouragement in my life. I will use today to show him that I will continually have a smile on my face, hope in my heart, and strength in my Lord.

I encourage you all to do the same. 

Me, a Southern Belle?

Usually my posts are little ramblings about my life, what God is teaching me and such...but tonight I'm feeling....Southern. A lot of my northern friends read my blog, as do some southern friends, but I have a feeling my northern friends might enjoy this post more.
See, I've been talking to one of my oldest friends from the South tonight, and it's brought back so many wonderful memories.

Memories of the weather turning warm in March.

Memories of sweet southern accents mixed with lovely sweet tea.

A place where time could stand still. Where the most fun I could possibly have in a day was climbing hay, riding the four-wheeler, chasing the cows...

Where I grew up and eventually started noticing boys...cowboys. Boys that took me driving with the windows down and the country music blaring.

We drank out of mason jars ONLY.

We lived in a beautiful 2 story home with a gorgeous 'barn red' wrap around porch, with white rockers and adorable little glass tables on it.

A wonderful farm, where dogs and kittens were everywhere. Where we were chased by the mean cows and cuddled with the newborn calves.

Where being called a hick wasn't exactly an insult but instead evoked a kind of pride from you, and everyone speaks to strangers, because that's how you make friends.

My home....the place where I truly feel comfortable.

I have wonderful friends in Michigan, don't get me wrong. I love them, and the town I live in.. but sometimes I find myself trying to act more "normal"..as in trying to rid myself of some of the "southern". I did well with losing my accent, that wasn't very hard, and I must say helped me fit in a lot better. But tell me, what does losing my heritage actually do for other than make me feel even worse in the long run? Who cares what people think, whether it's the fact that I'm an adorable "Southern Belle"...or a hick. Because what they DON'T know, is that when that happens..just the tiniest bit of pride comes welling up inside of me, and a southern girl with southern pride, plus the knowledge of how to shoot a gun might just be the most dangerous thing they've ever encountered ;)

So now that you've gone on a little journey to the south with me...hopefully you can just enjoy me becoming a little more in touch with the old me..cowgirl boots and all. :)

Fear not...

For I am the Lord your God....


 I am always amazed at the fact that no matter how well you may know a verse or verses, they are always relevant.

 Always showing the Lord's mercy.

 Always there to still your heart.

I opened up a graduation gift from my grandparents yesterday to find a beautiful engraved band, and a card. The card is what helped me this morning.

As I was going about my daily morning things, I was constantly thinking about how I'm preparing for my future. I'm leaving for a visit to Colorado about this time next month to visit the school and my Aunt...but other than that and some in depth study of the Word, there's not a lot else I can really do at this point. I've sent my application in to Natasha's Mission of Truth for the money to send me in January, and quite frankly I'm stressing. I sent it a few weeks ago and still have heard nothing back. I was in the middle of drying my hair all the while working myself into a tizzy when I remembered the card.
On the top it said "When you want to know what to do."
And underneath that were the verses;

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."

How often lately I have forgotten, no not even forgotten -refused- to trust in the Lord.

 I have worried myself sick over things I simply can not control.

I have been snappy, or withdrawn because I'm too busy thinking and worrying over something that will happen in time, and in God's will.

I have spent more time trying to find comfort in things and people, than I have spent in the Word of God Himself.



"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 16:33

Ah ha moments..

Sometimes, I have "Ah, ha!" moments...or epiphanies as my best friend loves to call them. It doesn't usually have anything at all to do with what's going on in that moment, or what's been said throughout my day, no it's usually spastic..just like me. I had one of those moments tonight, actually it was quite literally five minutes ago, and though it seemed like one of my spastic moments, it wasn't. I could never come up with the words I was about to hear and call it an "Ah, ha!" moment...as it wasn't my thoughts at all. I was reading one of my favorite blogs right now A Holy Experience, and doing a little soul searching as I so often find myself doing lately, as I was suddenly brought to tears. I can't really even tell you why I started crying, I wasn't reading anything very incredibly sad, just another one of this godly woman's accounts of her life in Africa...and then I realized what was going on. 

In this world of craziness I live in, I can't think. This is when the Lord speaks to me. I so heard His very real voice softly whispering in my ear...

 "Stop. Stop worrying. Stop thinking that I can't take care of you. Stop fighting what I'm telling you to do. Stop thinking about what others are thinking. Never stop listening for My voice. Live every day like it's your mission. I've called you to Africa, but stop worrying about how/if you're getting there, and who you're getting there with. Just stop. Rejoice in the everyday. Be excited about the wonderful things happening in your life, and in your heart. Pause in the everyday moments and rejoice that they are there, because they won't always be. Embrace the people who love you. Embrace what I am doing in your life, and walk into it with the faith that I'll get you through every second of it. Stop living, and let me breathe life into you." 

I can't really tell you why that made me cry.

Perhaps the peace that overcame me, when just hours ago, I was talking about how stressed I was. 

Perhaps the fact that I was so very overwhelmed with the fact that He cares for me so much as to give me that peace. 

Perhaps....

Why does it really matter anyway? 

The LORD just gave me peace..through His quiet whisper and I feel like I can do anything He calls me to do...at the moment He whispers again.

Time to go vegetarian again? Or even vegan...

So, I used to be vegetarian..for a pretty short time actually. Like a few months at the most. I couldn't keep with it, because well...it was kind of difficult. However, I had a pretty interesting conversation with a friend today, who used to be vegan, and it brought back all the reasons I was vegetarian in the first place. Yeah, I'm going back to it. This time though, I think I'm going for vegan. I'm not sure though, I haven't completely decided. All I know is that I came home to find something to eat today, and seriously..the ONLY thing I could eat was pineapple. Everything in this house is meat. Looks like it's time for me to go grocery shopping....oh yeah, this is why I stopped being vegetarian, because I'm poor.

Stop Planning...

Lately I've been hearing this conviction a lot. "Stop planning.." "Have faith in what I can do for you.." Obviously, I have issues when I don't have a plan, otherwise this wouldn't be something God is trying to teach me. No but really, I have real issues with this. If I don't know what's coming next, I just might freak out. I have the calling to missions, I have a place I'm going to be trained..but somehow my heart seems to fear the unknown. My thoughts are constant. They are 99% of the time on what's coming next in my life. All that staring out the window, yeah, that would be me contemplating my life. My mind is full of 'What ifs'. "What if the guy I end up with doesn't support my love of missions?" "What if Africa isn't where I end up even though that's where my heart is?" "What if I'm not a good enough missionary?" These thoughts can tear you apart, let me just tell you. I can hardly be excited about the work I can/will do for the Lord when these thoughts consume me. The more I have these thoughts, the more I can hear the Lord telling me to stop planning. Go with what I know now and let Him figure the rest out. No, I have no idea what I'll do after my Bible training. Maybe I'll leave for a different country, or maybe God has some plan for me in the States. All I know is I have to stop worrying about it and give the reins over to Him. 

Pastor's need hugs too...

No I'm totally serious here! However, I'm not talking about a physical hug. Your Pastor might be a little weirded out if everyone in Church started randomly attacking him with hugs..and anyway, good way to spread the flu. Anyway...your Pastor needs emotional hugs!! I thought of this while I was in the church service this morning. During communion I looked up from my private prayer to see my Pastor with his head in his hands praying. I just got this overwhelming sense of "MY PASTOR NEEDS MY PRAYER". Not because he can't pray himself, not the case at all. But because, 200 people praying can do a lot more than 1 person praying. The fact is, I have no idea what he was praying about...it could have been personal, it could have been about the service, or a situation, or even just the church family in general, but I saw this and knew immediately who was getting even extra prayer from now on. Not saying that I don't pray for my Pastor..as I do on a daily basis, along with prayer for my parents, friends, family...etc. But this morning the Lord really put on my heart that instead of always leaning on my Pastor (and family) for hugs..perhaps they also need someone to lean on for hugs. Perhaps they need an encouraging word, or an extra smile. Or....just hug them with prayer.