Sometimes when I am standing in front of my class, I can't believe that this is my life right now. I actually live in the middle of Baku, Azerbaijan.
I sit on the bus looking out of the window each day thinking of how blessed I am, yet feeling so overwhelmed. Thinking that this can't possibly be the place for me, even though I was clearly called to be a teacher here.
I walk to my apartment late each night after classes, trying to be quiet so as to be culturally appropriate, yet I think "I am American, they know we are loud." Yet, I am here to be an example of what America can be, not what it is.
I sit on the metro each day, doing my best to zone out so that I don't see the men staring, yet having to stay aware so that I am safe.
I walk the streets trying not to make eye-contact with the men, and when I do I try not to smile so they don't think I am suggesting something that I am not.
I walk around the Old City with the buildings that are thousands of years old, and can't help but think about what life here must have been then.
I see the children running around in the park with their mothers, and want to run and play with them. I want to talk to them and ask them what their life is like here.
I see the girl walking the street with the broken nose and want to embrace her for hours, and tell her that the violence here is not what God intends for our lives. That the lack of respect for women here is appalling and that he doesn't have the right to do that to her at all, no matter that he is her husband.
I see the beggar on the street holding a 'sleeping' child, and know that the child is drugged and want to shake her and explain to her how wrong it is. I want to shake the person behind the business that the beggar is employed by, whom we never see, but is always there. I want to take the child and make him healthy again, so that his life will not be cut short because of someone else and their selfish desires.
I see how beautiful the city is, and want to take it all in. Sights, smells, the sound of another language everywhere I turn...
I live in Baku, Azerbaijan where almost half of the population of this country lives and I want to make a difference where others simply pass the problem by, hoping it will take care of itself.
