Who said thinking was a good idea, anyway?

This morning, I was driving through our first real snowfall of the year loving the Christmas music that I had playing on the radio and the fact that I had a kiddo in the backseat talking my ear off..until he asked the question "Will you come home for Thanksgiving next year and we'll pick you up like we pick Aunt Leonie up?" Oh my...it hit me that this is very likely the last Christmas I will spend actually LIVING at home... Who knows where I'll be this time next year! The plan is to be in an apartment...so still here at home just not in THIS house. Wow... knowing this will make this holiday season so very different in my mind. The last year I won't be 'coming home' for Thanksgiving and Christmas... Time to embrace this season!! =)

Growing up in the blackberries...

A ten year old girl in a sundress, running through fields of hay. It’s a beautiful picture, one that you can see perfectly, with little imagination. Oh, to be carefree and full of the energy that the little one has. To be thinking of nothing past what you want to do when you get to the other side of that hay field. Blackberries. Yes, she will need to crawl under the rusty barbed-wire fence, and then free herself from the thorny bushes before she can get to the precious berries, but once there the trip is worth it. Her lovely afternoon snack will be worth it all, and maybe she’ll bring some back for Mama, oh how excited she will be.

Sometimes when I think on it, growing up seems like such a pain. So depressing and lacking in fun. You have more to worry about then what fun getting across the field is. You need to think about the fact that you could tear that sundress in those thorny bushes. You could get blackberry juice all down your front. Mama doesn’t know that you’re that far away from the house, what if she needs you for something? Your brother has the ATV out, what if he comes crashing through those bushes and tramples you? There are cows in that field, a few of which are not the kindest and would love nothing more than to chase and take you down.

We MAKE growing up depressing. In the first ‘story’ all you can think about it picturing this adorable picture of a little girl running to her heart’s desire, picking blackberries, having a lovely afternoon. Then the “grownup” thoughts came and that’s when it became depressing. 

Oh, to be like a child. Trusting in everyone; having not a care in the world about appearances.

The child in the story was me, as I’m sure many guessed. The same thing happened almost every day of the summer. As I get older I realize more and more how depressing I am. How often I only look at the things in my life not going just as I would like. The stress, the conflict, the drama. Now, the truth is, is that all those things are a part of my life, and I can’t simply look the other way and let them take their path of destruction, they do need my attention and prayers if I am to ever be sane. However, I don’t need to dwell on them. Instead, look to the opposite. Stress…joy. Conflict…harmony. Drama…peace. Find those things in even the tiniest things in your life, or even among the awful. Satan doesn’t want joy in our lives, if the things he is putting in our lives to make us fail in our daily walk are actually strengthening us, then those things are the last things he wants us to have. If we are praising Christ for the horrible things in our lives, we’re turning Satan against himself, and winning one for the Lord.

Sometimes all we need to do is become children once again. To trust only as a child can.

…“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:2-4 ESV)

The changes we go through...

As I get older, I am more aware of the fact that I am indeed getting older..
When we are young, getting older seems to take forever, and we're never as old as we would like to be.
I've been going through some older pictures (and some not so old ones) and realizing just how much I've changed, not only physically but in every other way as well.

I just find it so crazy to see my life in pictures...

Learning to listen..

It's 4am, and I'm awake...again. 

For the past week every morning (if you can even call 4am morning) I've been awake at the same time, on the dot. When I wake up, I'm actually very annoyed. Annoyed that after a long day at work, I can't seem to sleep through the night, even though I'm exhausted. Annoyed that it's 4am, which means I won't fall back asleep before dad gets up, and with his stomping around upstairs, I won't sleep until he leaves for work. 

Then...last night it dawned on me. Pray. There's obviously a reason I'm awake at this time every morning...at the same exact time. I have no idea what to pray about, I have no idea if there's something I'm supposed to be hearing from the Lord (I must say I'm not very coherent in the middle of the night), maybe I'm just supposed to lay there in silence and have the peace and quiet I've so been yearning for lately. 

I have no idea if I'll still be awake every morning at 4 from now on...but I do know that if I am, I won't be annoyed, I will count myself as blessed. After all the Lord took the time to wake ME up, at a certain time...just so I can bring glory to Him.

The World Doesn't Need Me

I'm sure the title of this blog post could sound "attention-seeking" to some. If I were to just read the title, I would probably think the same thing, that's the thought that the world has taught us to have. 

However, this title is anything BUT self-seeking. 

Let me say it again, in case you missed it. The world doesn't need me. It doesn't need you either for that matter. The world needs Christ. The world needs the Man who unselfishly died a horrific death for everyone living or having once lived on it. 

The world needs a powerful saving grace..Something it can put it's faith in, I certainly wouldn't want that to be me, if it was everyone should just be ready for a let down right now; because I have nothing to offer.

Sometimes we all get so caught up in what we can do for the world. How we can help be that marvelous saving grace. How we can help Christ get to that 'final goal'. We need to stop. Instead of seeing ourselves as a gift to the world to make it better, lets consider ourselves a servant of Him. After all, He put us here, I'm pretty sure He KNOWS what our purpose here is. He will show us when and where to move, and for what purpose to do it. Maybe he'll tell you a year before, or maybe a week. Maybe your selfish heart will think he said one thing a year ago, when in all truth he's just now telling you and you just didn't want to wait to listen to His voice. 

Don't get so caught up in trying to better the world that you stand in the way of the One who can actually fix it.

Role Models...

I always knew the day would come when I would be a role model for younger girls and women...
I always knew that I would take the place of those older girls that I looked up to...
I just didn't realize that the time for this had slowly crept up on me.

This year for Halloween, one of the precious younger girls that I have the great pleasure of watching grow up decided to dress up as me.

*I* was a Halloween costume.

 You want to talk about putting the fear of God into you?
Yeah, that did it.
She looks up to me enough to want to be me for a day.

Am I being a good enough role model for her...for any other young ladies that may be looking up to me? I mean, yeah..I do all the "Christian" stuff. I'm even going to school with the intent of going into some ministry/missions.
Does all that count?

Am I showing them to be content? Content in their family, in their bodies, in this time when growing up is so imperative?
Am I showing them an example of a godly woman growing in Christ?

I pray that I am. I pray for strength to grow more..to let them in on all those little secrets I've learned along the way. For the strength to share what struggles I've made it through, or even am going through and how the Lord is pulling me through them.

I pray that these young ladies grow up and want to be that role model for others...to continue that godly legacy.

In explanation...in the summer I wear mostly skirts..and this summer it was ALL maxi skirts, so with that in mind (and the fact that it was freezing and raining outside) she came up with this outfit. Love this girl so much!