Coffee and words...

So as I sit here in the coffee shop, sipping on my cup of loveliness, listening to the 90's music that's playing over the speakers...I'm writing. I'm writing a letter to loved ones telling them my future plans, telling them about what my deepest dream is, and also writing one of the hardest things I could think of to write; asking for money. 

I realize that asking for people to support me as a missionary is quite normal, and no one is going to begrudge me for doing so...but it's just so difficult. 

As I'm writing this letter, things are slipping into my head about what else I need to do, like a constant to-do list running through my mind. 

I block it out so that I can focus, and it comes right back running through my head like a roll of film. 

I take a break to let my mind rest thinking maybe I just need to veg for a minute and enjoy my coffee, and then the stress sets in.

 I need shots. I need my passport. What if I can't raise all the money I need and can't go through my training this year and have to wait another year? What if I get through the training and decide missions isn't for me after all? 

And then I pick my computer up and start writing again. This time with my stress at an all time high and I have to stop. 

I pray.

 I have a full on conversation with the Lord. 

I open my eyes.  

I start writing again, this time with a full sense of peace. The writing comes much easier now, because anything and everything I need to get done will get done when I get to it. Everything happens when He wants it to happen, and if He wants it to happen it WILL happen.

So now, I think I will pick my coffee back up, bring up my letter page and continue writing to loved ones...this time with a heart full of praise and thankfulness, and this time it will go better because of that.